3. Recovery Process: Emotional Work

Apr - May 2023: After allaying my fears and starting to see some improvements, I began digging into the emotional aspect (fear / anxiety / rage / sadness etc.) that has been mentioned by Dr Yonit and Dr Alan Gordon.

• During this particular period, I had an argument with a family member and that was also when I noticed the shift in my symptoms to swaying / bobbing / walking on marshmallow sensations. I wrote a letter to the family member whom I had an argument with and read it out loud. I had a good cry over those repressed emotions. Strangely, I could literally feel the back of my neck pulsating during this crying session. It was as if a surge of emotions had been unleashed.
• A few days later, I wrote a compassionate letter to myself detailing certain situations that I should have said no but ended up agreeing to help. I was brutally honest with myself on my personality traits - The Type T (Turbulent) Personality: The conscientious one, the perfectionist, the people pleaser, the worrier / catastrophiser, etc. As shared by Dr Yonit / Dr John Sarno / Dr Alan Gordon, individuals who are prone to chronic pain or dizziness often possess these particular personality traits. I had another good cry.  

I found out later, after watching an interview with Dr Howard Schubiner by Dr Yonit, that I could have unknowingly applied a part of *Emotional Awareness and Expression Therapy (EAET) toward myself. I think dealing with the state (past / present) of my emotional well-being had been a critical component for my recovery. Our emotions be it stress / repressed feelings could either be about ourselves / family members / friends / work etc. Journaling and saying it out loud what I had written did help me greatly. There are some useful journaling prompts available in Dr Yonit’s free course to help one get started. Here is a video by Dr Yonit on why and how to feel emotions.

We seem to have this idea that vulnerability equals weakness. At times we also question ourselves whether expressing our emotions would be perceived as a burden or neediness by those around us. Perhaps it helps to understand that it isn't about who is right (if others are involved),but more about allowing yourself and those involved to acknowledge and accept your emotions and vulnerability when you decide to share it. I hope more individuals would take time to pause for a moment, dive a little deeper to see what you are struggling with and bravely opening up to others instead of suppressing your emotions. It is also crucial not to confuse expressing your emotions with incessantly complaining about your life and victimising yourself. The former involves choosing to do something about it after that, no matter how small the step may be.

Dr Yonit also mentioned in a video that it is possible for some of us to be completely unaware of the stress or conflict we might be facing in our everyday lives. This is especially true for me when I, for one, thoroughly enjoy my work. Stress? What stress? 😏I then started looking into that period (when my dizziness started) where I had quite a few big changes happening simultaneously in my life, and realised that I might have taken on way more than I could handle. It didn't help too that I have the tendency to worry and overthink. 

While I wouldn't wish this on anyone, I consider myself ‘fortunate’ for having had this experience (and not some life-threatening illnesses) as it had given me the opportunity to re-examine my life. I have now started to learn to set boundaries, learn to say no and speak up for myself more often. 

*Disclaimer: If necessary, seek your doctor's advice first if it’s safe for you to pursue emotional therapy-based treatment for your symptoms.